Bad Advertising

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS NUDITY. 

The photographs that contain nudity are part of a clothing brand's advertising campaign. They are not photographs of individuals being critiqued on this blog, nor are they individuals known to the author of this blog. If you do not wish to see breasts and buttocks, then please do not read this post.

Two words: American Apparel.

When will they learn that their ads are stupid and offensive? They've already taken every possible angle with the "objectifying women" theme, so now they've moved on to abusing animals.

First off, is it just me or are they the fugliest fake joddies you have ever seen? Clothes that makes a skinny model look like she has a pot belly are not going to look good on the average buyer. They look like tools, honestly, this just makes the models and the brand look bad.

On to the horses, I see two sore, angry little horses with western long-shanked bits being wrenched around in their mouths by people who have no idea how to hold reins. Whoever loaned the horses for this shoot ought to know better than to put a bit with that much leverage in the hands of a novice. Eggbut snaffles are so much safer than these if used roughly.

Their new "horse torture" line of ads makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Or better, bang their heads against a wall!

Oh wait, I forgot you could objectify women while using horses in American Apparel ads! Silly me.
Am I the only one wondering how horses and naked woman have anything to do with the clothes they make? What is the relevance here? I know sex sells, but this isn't the 'good kind' of nudity!

Well at least the grey has a nice saddle and better bridle on. It looks like it's in better condition too, IMO.

I don't know why they thought this would sell their ugly pseudo-jodhpurs, but it doesn't make me want to buy them, that's for sure! They make you look roly-poly and aren't even appropriate for real riding. What is their purpose then? Hmm.... Oh, got it! They're so ugly, that you have to take them off! I see, so you use them to get girls naked. Like so-

Oh yes, we totally believe that you play polo. Sure honey. Go put some pants on please and stop making horses look bad.

Signing off for now- Ranter.

It's All Wrong

I can't find a single good thing about this picture, except that the pony is well-fed. But seriously, this is just bad in so many ways.

Tack: If I had to sum up this tack ensemble in one sentence it would be "throw it all out, and get something that fits". The bridle is the worst piece I think- the browband is practically covering the horses' eyes, the full-cheek bit is just way to big for that horse and it appears that the reins and running martingale have become tangled with the throat latch (could be the angle of the pic on that one though). The saddle looks too big for that horse (its a pony, let's be honest with ourselves) and I suspect there is weight being put down into the loins. As my vet charmingly put it "Would you want someone sitting on your kidneys?" as we discussed how some saddlebred riders place their saddles. The same thing applies here- that saddle is way too big for that pony's short back, and as a result the riders weight is going onto his sensitive loins. As for the reins, I think split reins are great for stock work etc. but I would not put them in the hands of a beginner- as this person clearly is- especially with a FM bit.  I heard of a horse stepping on a rein in a similar situation, and the shank of its full-cheek snaffle piercing it's cheek. Ouch!

Posture: I think for most of us, the only time our legs will look like this is during an "emergency stop" when we ignore proper form and focus on staying in the saddle (anyone who's ever had a bolter will know all about that haha). Hands are way out front and I see chicken wings. If I were watching this girl ride I would tell her "bring your elbows  back to their neutral position and lower your hands". I think I once had a similar hand+arm position, but that was while my young OTTB had a freak out over seeing a motorbike for the first time.

Horse: He/she seems to be well fed, but what is with that skin condition? At first I thought it was dried sweat, but I've been shown several other pictures of the same horse and it seems to be in every single one. It isn't rain rot, so I wonder?

Off Topic, Why I Worry about Fulmer Bits (aka Full-Cheek Snaffle):

I  understand that some people like to use full-cheek and tom-thumb snaffles: they are good for young horses or those that need a little help understanding direction and they also stop the bit getting pulled through the mouth (although if you ride with good hands, I don't see that happening anyway). The issue I have, is that people fail to use the necessary accessories. If you are going to put one your horse then you need to use keepers too. Some people think they are pointless because "what's going to happen anyway?" but believe me, I have seen a long-shanked full cheek bit on a small horse (like the one above) and due to the length of the shank, and the fact it wasn't secured, it went up the horses nostril. No joke, it went up and tore the horses nostril. It was one of the most horrible, scary things  I have seen happen at the hands of an otherwise kind rider. The other thing is that most full-cheek snaffles have that nasty "nut cracker" effect, so if you want to go for a full-cheek snaffle, try and find one with a french link and get some keepers- just to be on the safe side. Here's how a properly fitted full-cheek snaffle should look.

Simple and effective. In my personal opinion, I think full-cheek snaffle bits encourage leaning, which not many people actually want their horse to do. If your only concern is the bit being pulled through the mouth, or about loose-rings pinching, then you can always try an eggbut snaffle or a loose-ring with a 

If you're still unsure about bridles and bits, read this: 

http://www.sustainabledressage.net/tack/bridle.php

That's all for today's post, remember, if you see some shocking riding or bad tack, send me an email and explain the situation, and I'll feature you on the blog. Happy trails everyone!

Look Good or Die Trying

I found this picture today and just had to share it. I believe it's part of an advertising campaign for either beachwear or beauty products, I'm not entirely sure which.

All I can say is, stretching your toes down through the stirrup might make your legs look longer, but it's also asking for a nasty fall or drag. But hey, you know the saying, "Beauty knows no pain". Let's just hope it's true.

Btw, the horses expression has me wondering how kind her hands are. My bet is "not very".

A Good Rider!

Just to shake things up a bit, here is a good rider, retraining some previously abused horses with all sorts of issues... Check out the "before and after" of the little grey. What a difference!

The "Breathe" video can't be pasted into Blogger, so here is an example of her riding. If my horse reared like that I don't know if I would stay on like she did, let alone calmly get back on and complete the dressage test!




Here's a link to the website, if you'd like to watch the Breathe Video
Half Pass Gal: Breathe

Enjoy!

Harness Gone Wrong

This proves that idiots are all over the world, and apparently, they own horses. I would like to smack all these girls with the sensible stick.

Here we have some incredibly stupid people attempting to harness break a mare. Here's a hint idiots- you start by long-reining and work your way up. I suspect that impatience is one of the largest causes behind bad riding and stupid training techniques.

Size Matters

When it comes to horses, anyway.
Today I'm going to show you these horse/rider combinations:

• Pony with a large rider
• Pony with a small rider

• Horse with a small rider
• Horse with a large rider

Let me forewarn you though, the size is definitely not the only thing wrong in the "bad" pictures. You can look forward to the idiocy only usually seen on Craigslist and Youtube. I'm talking huge teenagers on tiny ponies, or 1 year old babies stuck in the saddle of a massive QH. Oh yes, idiocy abounds.

Let's start with ponies. 

The first one is an example of when kids on ponies is a bad idea for all involved. I see it all the time, big kids on little Shetlands, no tack whatsoever. It's not cute, it's dangerous to your child and painful for the pony. You are too freaking big for that pony, get off the poor thing!

The pony's expression says it all.

And here is a small pony with a small rider. 

Oh look, it's in appropriate tack! I never thought I would see the day. Cute horse wearing nice, well-fitting tack, with a size-appropriate rider who has obviously been given lessons. Why can't all ponies be as well cared for as this little guy?

Now some people out there would say "That's unfair, because obviously in the second picture they have more money to spend on their pony, gear and lessons". Is that so? Ok, consider this:

Don't buy a pony if you can't afford to look after it.

Saying no to buying a pony for your child is not being a bad parent- it is being a sensible person. If you cannot afford riding lessons with an accredited trainer, safe and humane tack, and a suitable horse/pony, then you shouldn't buy one. Keep in mind, children grow really, really fast! What are you going to do when your child outgrows their tiny Shetland pony? What if it happens in less than a year and you feel like you haven't got your "moneys worth"? Let the kid ride it anyway and cripple it?

Let's move on to horses. This is another one I see way too much of: little kids on big horses. Make it even more dangerous with this common combination: little kid on a big, hot-tempered horse. Great.

This video says it all. The child's feet are obviously tied in to the stirrups, the horse is way too big, and way too strong for her. Add that to the fact she has no helmet and zero control over the horse, and you have an accident waiting to happen. Which it does.

Here we have a similar situation in that a little girl is on a horse with no helmet, no tack and another child underneath the horse, about to get trampled. Now I don't care how safe you say this horse is, every horse can, and will have a freak-out moment. Do you want that moment to be while your children are on and under the horse with no protective gear on? I think not.

And then we have a horse with a rider that is size-appropriate, in quality tack. Hooray!

All I want you to take away from today's blog is this: If you are too big for a horse/pony, don't ride it! If all you can afford is a horse/pony that you are too big, or too small for, then don't buy it! If you can't afford proper tack and lessons, don't buy a horse! It's common sense people, please, use it!

Welcome to the Bad Rider Rant!

Welcome to my newest blog, the Bad Rider Rant.

Before you comment or email me to post your story, please read our 'disclaimer' for the fine print. I don't want to get sued and I'm pretty sure you don't want to either, so let's stay on the safe side here, shall we?

So what are you going to see on this blog? Bad riders. Lots of them. There will be some discussion on tack, poor sportsmanship, industry abusive and back-yard-breeding, but for the most part this blog is about bad riders. Hence the title.


So to get you started today, here is a picture that just screams "bad rider!" There are just so many things wrong with this photo.

Let's start with the obvious one- that is a pony and you are too big for it! Maybe an Icelandic pony, or a strong, British cold-blooded pony could handle a rider of her weight, but this is a little, flimsy (and I am told, very young) pony that is obviously pissed off about how much weight it has to carry.

Tack: Oh god, the saddle! If the overly-large rider wasn't enough, this poor pony has to carry said rider in a saddle that is obviously too large, and not properly placed on the animals back. Shitty rider, I'll give you a hint: if you have to haul the saddle ONTO the pony's wither and even higher, just to get it to fit on the pony's back, then the saddle is too big. Stop being a cheap-ass and go and buy something that fits your horse. Add to that the bridle/halter combo of Doom and you have a real picnic for that pony.

Posture: The rider's terrible posture isn't exactly being helped by the too-short stirrups. Oh wait, I see why they're so short! Because if she actually had her stirrups at a reasonable length, her feet would be swinging below the pony's belly. Maybe that's just another one of nature's hints that you're too big for the pony? Hmm.

I know ponies are cute and it's tempting to buy and ride one, but you aren't a little kid any more, drawing unicorns with crayon. You are an adult and you weigh far too much to try and live your childhood pony dreams! Please, get a horse. They're cute too, and it might actually like you (unlike this unhappy pony) since you won't be the cause of it's back and joint pain.

Summary: This individual obviously thought it would be fun to ride a pony, but in doing so they became a Bad Rider.
Small pony + Large saddle + Large rider = bad combo!


That's all for this post, but I'll definitely be featuring rider size in the next post! Stay tuned!